Thank you for sharing your story. I responded to you privately earlier this week but hesitated to respond publicly, not wanting any of the following words to come across as hurtful PR. People I respect in the IHOPKC survivor and advocacy communities have sent me your story and asked for a response.
It is truly heartbreaking what you and others have experienced at IHOPKC on multiple fronts and in multiple ways. Please forgive me for the spiritual pride, elitism, and belief in a prophetic history I embodied and communicated when I invited persons to join the movement that “was the crucial answer to the end-times drama.” This self-aggrandizement and spiritual pride was wrong.
Also, you are correct; as senior leaders we did not have time for relationships with many students and staff who were leaving their homes for night and day prayer. Please forgive me for the over promise of the platform and the under-deliver nature of real life on the missions base. The persona of closeness and relationships exhibited on the stage was a far cry from the busy, disconnected, barely making it reality of the day-to-day grind. I am so sorry for the harm this persona and lack of relationship and care caused you. It was wrong. Please forgive me.
I am so sorry for the abuse you experienced. I was not aware of your relationship or of the abuse you suffered. I am sad to say that in the midst of thousands of people coming and going, along with all of the whirlwind of activity on the base, I failed to know of your situation. I am so sorry for the abuse and pain you experienced, the lack of care, and the many leadership dynamics that contributed to real harm and silence in the midst of the abuse and pain.
There is no excuse for anyone violating your privacy and coercing you into a confession. The activity you described, the threats you experienced, and the manipulative disciplinary tactics are reprehensible. This should not have happened. I am so sorry for this harm inflicted upon you.
I am so sorry for the ways you were not treated with dignity, empathy, compassion and care, whether it was rooted in misguided and misapplied puritanical theology, poor leadership training, rife elitism, busyness, religious norms, preferential treatment based on gifting or who you know, unbalanced eschatological frameworks, unhealthy growth and rhythms, or the cult of personality. You deserved better. I failed you and many others. Please forgive me.
Please let me know if there are any additional steps of transparency and accountability you are seeking. If not, I completely understand. It is your story, and I respect that you courageously told it.
Thank you for your response to Bex. I truly appreciate your words and the humility in acknowledging the harm caused. However, something that still weighs heavily on me is the role that narcissism — both spiritual and personal — played not just in IHOPKC, but within the broader prophetic charismatic movement. I believe it wasn’t just you, but all of us who were complicit in feeding this toxic culture, myself included.
The grandiose prophetic words we embraced — that we were part of something unique, divinely chosen for a higher purpose — created a dangerous sense of superiority. We were fed a narrative that elevated our importance while dismissing the pain of those around us. Prophetic words and messages were often used not as guidance, but to build platforms and justify the very power dynamics that caused harm. It wasn’t just about leadership failures; it was about the systems we allowed to thrive — systems that kept us from seeing the real struggles of others.
As painful as it is, I believe this spiritual narcissism is something we all need to confront. It became woven into the fabric of IHOPKC and the "prophetic movement" as a whole, distorting our priorities and sidelining the dignity of those we were meant to serve. Acknowledging this truth is the first step toward change.
I appreciate your apology, but true repentance requires dismantling the systems of power we built and rebuilding with humility and care for those around us. Holding space for this change is not just about you, but about all of us, including myself. We all have a part in this. I hold that space with both compassion and the hope that we can do better together.
I’m so, so deeply sorry. Your words are real, raw, and true. This hits so hard. I hope they hear your voice now. Your words are such a true indictment on the utter hypocrisy propagated by this whole system: “The relationship went on, twisted by the fear and subordination ingrained in me by your theology of exacting purity for godly women and endless moral flexibility for Men After God’s Own Heart. I bore his shame and mine, without being able to say anything to anyone, ever, or I’d be sent away.”
“my purpose and happiness no longer dependant on the comings and goings of hysterical men behind pulpits, saying things they don’t intend to be held accountable for.”
I am so sorry for what you went through. As the father of a daughter who attended IHOPU—I am beyond angry and also embarrassed by the abuse, manipulation, deception and hypocrisy that infested IHOP. So much abuse behind the scenes it’s shocking. From Mike Bickel down, it was an institution rotted from the inside. How many people have left the faith because of the manipulation, hypocrisy and abuse they experienced there? I hope in the future God surrounds you with people that truly love Him and that God comforts you with His peace, affection and His presence.
Thank you for telling this horrific and painful story, and trusting the internet with it. To fly across the ocean and find such pain as a "reward" is devastating at a whole other level. I am so sorry you experienced it then, and experience the aftereffects now. How could you not?
Hey there, bex :) … you have always had a way with words. This is so beautiful written, and so tragically lived. I loved being reminded of your amazing personality. And I hated reading what you endured. Ugh. Horrific. “I am sorry” feels trite, but I am. So. So. Sorry. You came to ihop wide eyed and full of innocence and life. I remember. I always enjoyed time with you. This story, this one that you live and carry the grief and loss to show for it, is so upsetting. I have not been okay since reading your words and thinking back to the girl I knew as a freshman at ihopu. I am sorry I didn’t ask you about your relationship more directly (or maybe even at all?). I am sorry that I presumed you had other “more prominent” leaders looking after you and checking in on you.. that was wrong of me. I would love to connect, if you would ever be open to that. Though I totally understand if you want nothing to do with all things ihop timeframe related. I wouldn’t fault you for that in the slightest. Just would love to reconnect, and apologize to you in real time and space. If you have capacity for that. No pressure. You are remarkable. You’ve always been remarkable. I am sorry so much was stolen for you. I am sorry that I endorsed a space where abuse thrived and people were neglected. I have more sorrow than my words can express. For you. And for the many, many other people I believe are out there who are likely resonating with your story, and seeing parallels to their own stories of harm received at IHOP. Thank you for sharing. I hope you’re finding some true care, love, and happiness on the other side of all of this. You deserve it.
You very well described the problem with "just press delete" in these settings. It is hard to underscore just how toxic this blend of forces was as an all encompassing social force and I am so sorry that you has so many other layers of fear ontop of it as well. Thank you for sharing your story, and I am so sorry you had to live through all those moments of pain and fear. I am so glad to hear your life is thriving, truly.
Why can't all of these leaders publicly expose themselves and apologize? Publicly apologize, and take themselves out of ministry! HEY ALL YOU FORMER IHOP LEADERS! HEY, YOU!!! START REPENTING FOR ALL THE PARTS YOU PLAYED AND TAKE YOURSELVES OUT! GET OUT AND *YOU* SPEND TIME GETTING YOUR HEARTS RIGHT WITH GOD! *YOU* SORT OUT ALL YOUR THEOLOGY, *YOU* NEED TO FIGURE OUT THE TRUTH BEFORE YOU GO BACK INTO MINISTRY BECAUSE YOUR MINISTRY ABSOLUTELY CANNOT WREAK OF THE NASTY FRUIT OF IHOP OR U WILL ONLY BE HURTING THE SHEEP OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. GOD WILL REPAY YOU FOR IT. DON'T HURT HIS SHEEP!
I remember you. I was 21 and worked for IHOPU and I remember when you and your brother came. It is unthinkable what you have endured. I'm so sorry this was happening to you and for all the ways this has broken your heart. You deserved better. Better pastoral care, better everything. I believe you, Bex.
Wow! I'm so sorry for the pain and injustice you suffered. Thank you for sharing and calling for true repentance from all who contributed to enabling this system, which was, apparently, a petri dish for abuse! Sadly, I believed the image that was presented. Just so horrific! No words are enough, but still… I'm soooooo sorry!!!
I am heartbroken to hear all of this. I’m so sorry that all this happened under the guise of false promises. It’s unfathomable how common that type manipulative recruitment was when we were at such vulnerable ages. I remember doing the first semester of IHOPU with you and always admired your purity of heart. I hate the way that was taken advantage of but I’m glad to hear that you’ve found some rebuilding and separation from that. Sending love 💙
This is such a sad and horrible tragedy. I’m so sorry for how you were treated and the toxic culture you endured. I was never a part of IHOP but looked up to Bickel and their work. It was devastating when I learned of the sexual abuse and cover ups.
I’ve always admired Allen, and I still do. I know that might come as a shock and might be outrageous to you but I don’t believe his actions speak to anything that was described. He has come out in a lengthy apology for the damage he has caused through poor leadership. You may not be able to see it but these are heartfelt words. I think there’s a lot of damage right now in the Church from all institutions and denominations, because there has been a wandering away of the original intent of what it was supposed to be. We’ve made church a place to consume and take, but it wasn’t ever supposed to be a building. It was supposed to be a people, who act as family. Who break bread together and do life together, meeting in homes and giving to each other’s needs. We have gotten so far from Jesus’s heart and I believe, even good well meaning people like Allen, got wrapped up into Churchianity rather than being the church. I’m not trying to cover his shortcomings or anyone else’s at IHOP. The whole thing, like many said, became rotten from the inside out. I hope and pray that you can find healing and not run from Jesus and his true Church, because it may be hard to find that community but it is out there. Here is part of Allen’s apology—
People have been seriously harmed, and many are still hurting. I want to say, from the bottom of my heart, that I am so sorry for the suffering you have experienced. While I cannot fully comprehend your pain, I am hurting for you and with you. Please forgive me for what I did to contribute to that pain as a senior leader at IHOPKC for almost 20 years.
Many people have written me, expressing their heartfelt gratitude for how IHOPKC positively impacted their lives, but I have become increasingly aware that this ministry had another side that hurt many sincere people, ones whom Jesus loves dearly. I contributed to this hurt and helped sustain IHOPKC's unhealthy leadership culture and systemic organizational issues that caused so much pain. To all the IHOPKC family (past and present interns, students, staff, and church members), I am deeply sorry. Please forgive me for the pain I caused or contributed to.
As one of the senior leaders, I allowed the challenges and intensity of 24/7 prayer, together with Mike’s rallying cry to “build the ship out at sea,” to inappropriately excuse me from the necessary reflection on church governance, eldership, and leadership qualifications and training. I failed to give adequate attention to building sustainable lifestyle rhythms and finances for healthy families, proper pastoral care, or the numerous dynamics and impact of 24/7 prayer on a community. This resulted in a revolving door of thousands of staff throughout the years, with many leaving in debt and heartbroken that they could not make it work. At IHOPKC, night-and-day prayer failed to be tethered to the centrality of the gospel and all the New Testament admonitions concerning life together. There simply is no “one-string fiddle.” Please forgive me for how my leadership failed to reflect New Testament standards of governance, love, and care for you as staff, students, interns, and church members. I am genuinely sorry for the lack of emotional and relational health in our teams as we led decades of night-and-day prayer.
Thank you for your comment DebraLouise. It’s heartbreaking to hear how broken IHOP was. I really believe God is bringing another reformation to His church. It’s not going to be through a man, or the cult of personality. It will come through whole hearted obedience to God. Living out the call to pick up our cross and die daily, make Jesus the head again. I also believe the Church is going to be what it was supposed to be—a family! God is bringing us back to being His Body. As much as I’m heartbroken I’m also rejoicing. All of this will only happen through a spirit of repentance though. God bless you!
Allen’s apology inspired this victim to come forward. You want to remind her what the apology was? Is an apology alone however sincere sufficient for what this woman suffered?
Jolynn, I hear your concern, and I don’t want to minimize the pain this woman endured. No apology—however sincere—can undo what she suffered. But I do think it’s important to ask: What does real accountability look like?
You pointed out that Allen’s apology inspired this victim to come forward. To me, that suggests his apology didn’t silence victims—it helped create space for them to speak. If Allen had knowingly covered up abuse, why would his words have encouraged more people to step forward instead of making them feel more afraid?
I shared his apology not to say it is “enough” or that suffering can be erased with words, but because his own statement provides insight into what he takes responsibility for. If we want justice, shouldn’t we be careful to distinguish between levels of responsibility rather than assume all leaders were equally complicit?
Also, I think it’s fair to ask: What exactly should repentance look like? If Allen’s apology isn’t enough, what additional steps should he take? Should he step away from ministry? Should he personally reach out to victims? Should he take public action against others involved? These are real questions, and I think they deserve careful discussion.
At the end of the day, justice requires truth, accountability, and discernment. We can grieve with victims and demand change without assuming every leader in a failed system is equally guilty of the worst offenses.
I appreciate the dialogue and the opportunity to think deeply about these issues.
It sounds like you’re more concerned with what Allen is and is not responsible for than the impact of his actions, decisions and leadership. I don’t think I implied he was silencing anyone. Maybe he’s not guilty of the worst offenses but that’s not what’s important right now. Bex lays out manipulative recruiting practices that most of us were victimized by. Why was Allen running around the world telling young people he needed just 10 super dedicated ones to change the world with? The 500 that had just graduated from Ihopu weren’t enough I guess. What does accountability look like indeed. This woman’s life was decimated. I think it looks like tangible repair for her and any and all who suffered under spiritually abusive teachings and leadership. Accountability looks like reckoning with that real harm and doing everything possible to make it right. The need is great. But the masses still appear concerned with saving the prayer movement rather than serving those victimized by it. The damage was costly. The repair will be costly.
Jolynn, I want to say upfront that I was never part of IHOP or the prayer movement. My church growing up tried to model some version of it, but it quickly fell apart because not enough people were committed to it. For a while I thought the prayer movement was something every church should aspire to, but over time I started to see that it was built on a misunderstanding of Scripture, and unfortunately on the influence of a rogue leader who followed a false prophet with his own sexual misconduct history. That history long preceded what has now come to light, and I think a lot of us missed the signs.
I’m not defending the prayer movement or the church structures that supported it. If anything, I’m repulsed by how far much of contemporary Christianity has drifted. It feels more like a business than a family. I say all that because I want you to know I’m not trying to preserve anything that should be torn down.
What I am concerned about is how, in so many situations like this, people start applying guilt and blame so broadly that it loses clarity. That seems to happen a lot, especially with people who’ve been through toxic systems. It’s understandable, but at some point we have to ask, where does forgiveness come in? And I don’t mean pretending everything was fine or excusing what was done. I mean the kind of forgiveness that Jesus talked about—the kind that refuses to let hurt define the rest of our story.
Jesus never told us to keep putting ourselves in the path of abuse. But He did call us to forgive and to move forward with Him. That’s not easy, especially when leadership failed so deeply. But if we hold on too tightly to our hurt, we can miss the beauty of what God wants to do in and through His Church.
So yes, accountability is needed. But so is discernment. Not everyone who was part of IHOP was equally responsible. And not everyone who apologizes is trying to escape judgment. Some people really are trying to own their mistakes and help others heal.
That’s the tension I’m trying to wrestle with, and I hope we can keep talking about it with honesty and grace.
I guess I think more than a apology is needed. There’s a really fast rush to forgive and remind everyone we also didn’t have discernment. I think that’s too rushed and I think there’s a lot of forgiveness happening without repentance, which isn’t forgiveness at all it’s enabling. I’m glad for Allen’s apology. But let’s be honest. When we read an apology like this and then hear a story like Bex of the actual outcome in her life do you think apology alone is sufficient? I don’t. And that’s not unforgiveness, that’s respecting and honoring catastrophe & devastation. I think reminding anyone don’t forget to forgive and talking about moving on in 10 minutes is completely inappropriate after hearing a story like hers. Let’s talk more about Zacceus before we talk about forgiveness. I haven’t seen that conversation anywhere. What would that look like? If I wronged anyone, let me pay them back four times over. Teaching people wrong things… Is wrong. Exploiting people for your ministry: is wrong. Let’s talk about Zaccheus now.
Jolynn, I appreciate your willingness to talk through these things. And I agree with you on a major point—an apology alone isn’t always enough. Especially not when there’s real harm. I’ve never said otherwise. My concern has never been to rush anyone into forgiveness, least of all someone like Bex, who clearly went through a lot.
But I think we also need to be honest about the differences between calling for real repentance and applying biblical analogies in ways that may not fit. You brought up Zacchaeus, and while I understand the desire to call for tangible repair, I don’t think comparing Allen Hood to Zacchaeus is accurate. Zacchaeus was a tax collector who aligned himself with the Roman Empire—the most brutal regime of its time—and profited by betraying his own people. He extorted his neighbors to enrich himself under a system of occupation and terror. That’s worlds apart from someone like Allen, whose biggest failure seems to be an overly zealous commitment to a flawed movement and a lack of mature oversight. That’s not excusable—but it’s also not the same.
I responded originally because I disagreed with the framing in the article—that Allen was effectively the architect of all the pain experienced at IHOP. I don’t see that supported by the facts. If we say his leadership created a space where harm could happen, I think that’s fair. But to pin every individual trauma, including Bex’s, on him as though he were a direct perpetrator removes individual agency, blurs lines of responsibility, and in the end, may not help anyone actually heal.
So when we talk about what should be done, I think we need to be specific. What does repair actually mean in this case? Should Allen pay for Bex’s counseling? Should he refund her tuition? Maybe that’s something to consider—but even then, there has to be a limit to what we can reasonably expect from someone who did not abuse, did not know about the abuse, and has publicly acknowledged his leadership failures.
Bex had agency. That’s not blaming her—that’s just recognizing the dignity and responsibility of choice. Even if she was misled or harmed in the culture IHOP fostered, how she frames her story now will shape how she walks into the future. That’s not to silence her pain—but to say healing and blame are two different paths. And healing doesn’t always require someone else paying a price; sometimes it comes when we choose to stop carrying a weight, even if we were justified in feeling it.
This is bigger than Allen or IHOP. It’s about how we as Christians and as people think about justice, responsibility, and healing. My hope is that the conversation can move in a direction that truly helps people heal—and that includes being honest about what someone did or didn’t do, and how we walk forward from there.
Thanks, Debra. I remember where you used to sit in the prayer room and drew encouragement from your love and discipline to worship. Bought a copy of your book (at least the one you had written in the 2000s - 2010s). But, to respond ... Many of us were so stiff-armed outside of any circles-- let alone the inner circle--that we weren't able to see these things. If ever rejection turned out to be protection, this would be it. Unfortunately, that rejection of mature and seasoned saints meant suffering for some like this woman. Were our prayers enough?
I’m so sorry for every moment of neglect, abuse, and pain. Nothing makes it OK.
And you’re right. It’s wrong for former leaders to point to Mike and say “look what he made us do.”
Bex,
Thank you for sharing your story. I responded to you privately earlier this week but hesitated to respond publicly, not wanting any of the following words to come across as hurtful PR. People I respect in the IHOPKC survivor and advocacy communities have sent me your story and asked for a response.
It is truly heartbreaking what you and others have experienced at IHOPKC on multiple fronts and in multiple ways. Please forgive me for the spiritual pride, elitism, and belief in a prophetic history I embodied and communicated when I invited persons to join the movement that “was the crucial answer to the end-times drama.” This self-aggrandizement and spiritual pride was wrong.
Also, you are correct; as senior leaders we did not have time for relationships with many students and staff who were leaving their homes for night and day prayer. Please forgive me for the over promise of the platform and the under-deliver nature of real life on the missions base. The persona of closeness and relationships exhibited on the stage was a far cry from the busy, disconnected, barely making it reality of the day-to-day grind. I am so sorry for the harm this persona and lack of relationship and care caused you. It was wrong. Please forgive me.
I am so sorry for the abuse you experienced. I was not aware of your relationship or of the abuse you suffered. I am sad to say that in the midst of thousands of people coming and going, along with all of the whirlwind of activity on the base, I failed to know of your situation. I am so sorry for the abuse and pain you experienced, the lack of care, and the many leadership dynamics that contributed to real harm and silence in the midst of the abuse and pain.
There is no excuse for anyone violating your privacy and coercing you into a confession. The activity you described, the threats you experienced, and the manipulative disciplinary tactics are reprehensible. This should not have happened. I am so sorry for this harm inflicted upon you.
I am so sorry for the ways you were not treated with dignity, empathy, compassion and care, whether it was rooted in misguided and misapplied puritanical theology, poor leadership training, rife elitism, busyness, religious norms, preferential treatment based on gifting or who you know, unbalanced eschatological frameworks, unhealthy growth and rhythms, or the cult of personality. You deserved better. I failed you and many others. Please forgive me.
Please let me know if there are any additional steps of transparency and accountability you are seeking. If not, I completely understand. It is your story, and I respect that you courageously told it.
Allen
Thank you for your response to Bex. I truly appreciate your words and the humility in acknowledging the harm caused. However, something that still weighs heavily on me is the role that narcissism — both spiritual and personal — played not just in IHOPKC, but within the broader prophetic charismatic movement. I believe it wasn’t just you, but all of us who were complicit in feeding this toxic culture, myself included.
The grandiose prophetic words we embraced — that we were part of something unique, divinely chosen for a higher purpose — created a dangerous sense of superiority. We were fed a narrative that elevated our importance while dismissing the pain of those around us. Prophetic words and messages were often used not as guidance, but to build platforms and justify the very power dynamics that caused harm. It wasn’t just about leadership failures; it was about the systems we allowed to thrive — systems that kept us from seeing the real struggles of others.
As painful as it is, I believe this spiritual narcissism is something we all need to confront. It became woven into the fabric of IHOPKC and the "prophetic movement" as a whole, distorting our priorities and sidelining the dignity of those we were meant to serve. Acknowledging this truth is the first step toward change.
I appreciate your apology, but true repentance requires dismantling the systems of power we built and rebuilding with humility and care for those around us. Holding space for this change is not just about you, but about all of us, including myself. We all have a part in this. I hold that space with both compassion and the hope that we can do better together.
Well said.
“he called me by name and said that if he had 10 young people like me, just 10 as special and gifted as I was, he could change the world.”
Do you know how to change the world? If you don’t and haven’t done that, why did you lie to a young woman to “change the world”?
How many others were lied to?
Our Lord has only commanded us to make disciples, one at a time, not to change the world. Anyway, He is coming back soon. Be ready.
I’m so, so deeply sorry. Your words are real, raw, and true. This hits so hard. I hope they hear your voice now. Your words are such a true indictment on the utter hypocrisy propagated by this whole system: “The relationship went on, twisted by the fear and subordination ingrained in me by your theology of exacting purity for godly women and endless moral flexibility for Men After God’s Own Heart. I bore his shame and mine, without being able to say anything to anyone, ever, or I’d be sent away.”
I just came back to say this line is fire
“my purpose and happiness no longer dependant on the comings and goings of hysterical men behind pulpits, saying things they don’t intend to be held accountable for.”
I am so deeply sorry for what you went through <3
I am so sorry for what you went through. As the father of a daughter who attended IHOPU—I am beyond angry and also embarrassed by the abuse, manipulation, deception and hypocrisy that infested IHOP. So much abuse behind the scenes it’s shocking. From Mike Bickel down, it was an institution rotted from the inside. How many people have left the faith because of the manipulation, hypocrisy and abuse they experienced there? I hope in the future God surrounds you with people that truly love Him and that God comforts you with His peace, affection and His presence.
Thank you for telling this horrific and painful story, and trusting the internet with it. To fly across the ocean and find such pain as a "reward" is devastating at a whole other level. I am so sorry you experienced it then, and experience the aftereffects now. How could you not?
Hey there, bex :) … you have always had a way with words. This is so beautiful written, and so tragically lived. I loved being reminded of your amazing personality. And I hated reading what you endured. Ugh. Horrific. “I am sorry” feels trite, but I am. So. So. Sorry. You came to ihop wide eyed and full of innocence and life. I remember. I always enjoyed time with you. This story, this one that you live and carry the grief and loss to show for it, is so upsetting. I have not been okay since reading your words and thinking back to the girl I knew as a freshman at ihopu. I am sorry I didn’t ask you about your relationship more directly (or maybe even at all?). I am sorry that I presumed you had other “more prominent” leaders looking after you and checking in on you.. that was wrong of me. I would love to connect, if you would ever be open to that. Though I totally understand if you want nothing to do with all things ihop timeframe related. I wouldn’t fault you for that in the slightest. Just would love to reconnect, and apologize to you in real time and space. If you have capacity for that. No pressure. You are remarkable. You’ve always been remarkable. I am sorry so much was stolen for you. I am sorry that I endorsed a space where abuse thrived and people were neglected. I have more sorrow than my words can express. For you. And for the many, many other people I believe are out there who are likely resonating with your story, and seeing parallels to their own stories of harm received at IHOP. Thank you for sharing. I hope you’re finding some true care, love, and happiness on the other side of all of this. You deserve it.
You very well described the problem with "just press delete" in these settings. It is hard to underscore just how toxic this blend of forces was as an all encompassing social force and I am so sorry that you has so many other layers of fear ontop of it as well. Thank you for sharing your story, and I am so sorry you had to live through all those moments of pain and fear. I am so glad to hear your life is thriving, truly.
I'm so sorry for what you went through.
Agree 💯
Why can't all of these leaders publicly expose themselves and apologize? Publicly apologize, and take themselves out of ministry! HEY ALL YOU FORMER IHOP LEADERS! HEY, YOU!!! START REPENTING FOR ALL THE PARTS YOU PLAYED AND TAKE YOURSELVES OUT! GET OUT AND *YOU* SPEND TIME GETTING YOUR HEARTS RIGHT WITH GOD! *YOU* SORT OUT ALL YOUR THEOLOGY, *YOU* NEED TO FIGURE OUT THE TRUTH BEFORE YOU GO BACK INTO MINISTRY BECAUSE YOUR MINISTRY ABSOLUTELY CANNOT WREAK OF THE NASTY FRUIT OF IHOP OR U WILL ONLY BE HURTING THE SHEEP OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. GOD WILL REPAY YOU FOR IT. DON'T HURT HIS SHEEP!
I remember you. I was 21 and worked for IHOPU and I remember when you and your brother came. It is unthinkable what you have endured. I'm so sorry this was happening to you and for all the ways this has broken your heart. You deserved better. Better pastoral care, better everything. I believe you, Bex.
Wow! I'm so sorry for the pain and injustice you suffered. Thank you for sharing and calling for true repentance from all who contributed to enabling this system, which was, apparently, a petri dish for abuse! Sadly, I believed the image that was presented. Just so horrific! No words are enough, but still… I'm soooooo sorry!!!
Ur brave woman! Thank you.
I am heartbroken to hear all of this. I’m so sorry that all this happened under the guise of false promises. It’s unfathomable how common that type manipulative recruitment was when we were at such vulnerable ages. I remember doing the first semester of IHOPU with you and always admired your purity of heart. I hate the way that was taken advantage of but I’m glad to hear that you’ve found some rebuilding and separation from that. Sending love 💙
This is such a sad and horrible tragedy. I’m so sorry for how you were treated and the toxic culture you endured. I was never a part of IHOP but looked up to Bickel and their work. It was devastating when I learned of the sexual abuse and cover ups.
I’ve always admired Allen, and I still do. I know that might come as a shock and might be outrageous to you but I don’t believe his actions speak to anything that was described. He has come out in a lengthy apology for the damage he has caused through poor leadership. You may not be able to see it but these are heartfelt words. I think there’s a lot of damage right now in the Church from all institutions and denominations, because there has been a wandering away of the original intent of what it was supposed to be. We’ve made church a place to consume and take, but it wasn’t ever supposed to be a building. It was supposed to be a people, who act as family. Who break bread together and do life together, meeting in homes and giving to each other’s needs. We have gotten so far from Jesus’s heart and I believe, even good well meaning people like Allen, got wrapped up into Churchianity rather than being the church. I’m not trying to cover his shortcomings or anyone else’s at IHOP. The whole thing, like many said, became rotten from the inside out. I hope and pray that you can find healing and not run from Jesus and his true Church, because it may be hard to find that community but it is out there. Here is part of Allen’s apology—
People have been seriously harmed, and many are still hurting. I want to say, from the bottom of my heart, that I am so sorry for the suffering you have experienced. While I cannot fully comprehend your pain, I am hurting for you and with you. Please forgive me for what I did to contribute to that pain as a senior leader at IHOPKC for almost 20 years.
Many people have written me, expressing their heartfelt gratitude for how IHOPKC positively impacted their lives, but I have become increasingly aware that this ministry had another side that hurt many sincere people, ones whom Jesus loves dearly. I contributed to this hurt and helped sustain IHOPKC's unhealthy leadership culture and systemic organizational issues that caused so much pain. To all the IHOPKC family (past and present interns, students, staff, and church members), I am deeply sorry. Please forgive me for the pain I caused or contributed to.
As one of the senior leaders, I allowed the challenges and intensity of 24/7 prayer, together with Mike’s rallying cry to “build the ship out at sea,” to inappropriately excuse me from the necessary reflection on church governance, eldership, and leadership qualifications and training. I failed to give adequate attention to building sustainable lifestyle rhythms and finances for healthy families, proper pastoral care, or the numerous dynamics and impact of 24/7 prayer on a community. This resulted in a revolving door of thousands of staff throughout the years, with many leaving in debt and heartbroken that they could not make it work. At IHOPKC, night-and-day prayer failed to be tethered to the centrality of the gospel and all the New Testament admonitions concerning life together. There simply is no “one-string fiddle.” Please forgive me for how my leadership failed to reflect New Testament standards of governance, love, and care for you as staff, students, interns, and church members. I am genuinely sorry for the lack of emotional and relational health in our teams as we led decades of night-and-day prayer.
https://www.excellencies.org/blog/an-apology-by-allen-hood
Thank you for your comment DebraLouise. It’s heartbreaking to hear how broken IHOP was. I really believe God is bringing another reformation to His church. It’s not going to be through a man, or the cult of personality. It will come through whole hearted obedience to God. Living out the call to pick up our cross and die daily, make Jesus the head again. I also believe the Church is going to be what it was supposed to be—a family! God is bringing us back to being His Body. As much as I’m heartbroken I’m also rejoicing. All of this will only happen through a spirit of repentance though. God bless you!
Allen’s apology inspired this victim to come forward. You want to remind her what the apology was? Is an apology alone however sincere sufficient for what this woman suffered?
Jolynn, I hear your concern, and I don’t want to minimize the pain this woman endured. No apology—however sincere—can undo what she suffered. But I do think it’s important to ask: What does real accountability look like?
You pointed out that Allen’s apology inspired this victim to come forward. To me, that suggests his apology didn’t silence victims—it helped create space for them to speak. If Allen had knowingly covered up abuse, why would his words have encouraged more people to step forward instead of making them feel more afraid?
I shared his apology not to say it is “enough” or that suffering can be erased with words, but because his own statement provides insight into what he takes responsibility for. If we want justice, shouldn’t we be careful to distinguish between levels of responsibility rather than assume all leaders were equally complicit?
Also, I think it’s fair to ask: What exactly should repentance look like? If Allen’s apology isn’t enough, what additional steps should he take? Should he step away from ministry? Should he personally reach out to victims? Should he take public action against others involved? These are real questions, and I think they deserve careful discussion.
At the end of the day, justice requires truth, accountability, and discernment. We can grieve with victims and demand change without assuming every leader in a failed system is equally guilty of the worst offenses.
I appreciate the dialogue and the opportunity to think deeply about these issues.
It sounds like you’re more concerned with what Allen is and is not responsible for than the impact of his actions, decisions and leadership. I don’t think I implied he was silencing anyone. Maybe he’s not guilty of the worst offenses but that’s not what’s important right now. Bex lays out manipulative recruiting practices that most of us were victimized by. Why was Allen running around the world telling young people he needed just 10 super dedicated ones to change the world with? The 500 that had just graduated from Ihopu weren’t enough I guess. What does accountability look like indeed. This woman’s life was decimated. I think it looks like tangible repair for her and any and all who suffered under spiritually abusive teachings and leadership. Accountability looks like reckoning with that real harm and doing everything possible to make it right. The need is great. But the masses still appear concerned with saving the prayer movement rather than serving those victimized by it. The damage was costly. The repair will be costly.
Jolynn, I want to say upfront that I was never part of IHOP or the prayer movement. My church growing up tried to model some version of it, but it quickly fell apart because not enough people were committed to it. For a while I thought the prayer movement was something every church should aspire to, but over time I started to see that it was built on a misunderstanding of Scripture, and unfortunately on the influence of a rogue leader who followed a false prophet with his own sexual misconduct history. That history long preceded what has now come to light, and I think a lot of us missed the signs.
I’m not defending the prayer movement or the church structures that supported it. If anything, I’m repulsed by how far much of contemporary Christianity has drifted. It feels more like a business than a family. I say all that because I want you to know I’m not trying to preserve anything that should be torn down.
What I am concerned about is how, in so many situations like this, people start applying guilt and blame so broadly that it loses clarity. That seems to happen a lot, especially with people who’ve been through toxic systems. It’s understandable, but at some point we have to ask, where does forgiveness come in? And I don’t mean pretending everything was fine or excusing what was done. I mean the kind of forgiveness that Jesus talked about—the kind that refuses to let hurt define the rest of our story.
Jesus never told us to keep putting ourselves in the path of abuse. But He did call us to forgive and to move forward with Him. That’s not easy, especially when leadership failed so deeply. But if we hold on too tightly to our hurt, we can miss the beauty of what God wants to do in and through His Church.
So yes, accountability is needed. But so is discernment. Not everyone who was part of IHOP was equally responsible. And not everyone who apologizes is trying to escape judgment. Some people really are trying to own their mistakes and help others heal.
That’s the tension I’m trying to wrestle with, and I hope we can keep talking about it with honesty and grace.
I guess I think more than a apology is needed. There’s a really fast rush to forgive and remind everyone we also didn’t have discernment. I think that’s too rushed and I think there’s a lot of forgiveness happening without repentance, which isn’t forgiveness at all it’s enabling. I’m glad for Allen’s apology. But let’s be honest. When we read an apology like this and then hear a story like Bex of the actual outcome in her life do you think apology alone is sufficient? I don’t. And that’s not unforgiveness, that’s respecting and honoring catastrophe & devastation. I think reminding anyone don’t forget to forgive and talking about moving on in 10 minutes is completely inappropriate after hearing a story like hers. Let’s talk more about Zacceus before we talk about forgiveness. I haven’t seen that conversation anywhere. What would that look like? If I wronged anyone, let me pay them back four times over. Teaching people wrong things… Is wrong. Exploiting people for your ministry: is wrong. Let’s talk about Zaccheus now.
Jolynn, I appreciate your willingness to talk through these things. And I agree with you on a major point—an apology alone isn’t always enough. Especially not when there’s real harm. I’ve never said otherwise. My concern has never been to rush anyone into forgiveness, least of all someone like Bex, who clearly went through a lot.
But I think we also need to be honest about the differences between calling for real repentance and applying biblical analogies in ways that may not fit. You brought up Zacchaeus, and while I understand the desire to call for tangible repair, I don’t think comparing Allen Hood to Zacchaeus is accurate. Zacchaeus was a tax collector who aligned himself with the Roman Empire—the most brutal regime of its time—and profited by betraying his own people. He extorted his neighbors to enrich himself under a system of occupation and terror. That’s worlds apart from someone like Allen, whose biggest failure seems to be an overly zealous commitment to a flawed movement and a lack of mature oversight. That’s not excusable—but it’s also not the same.
I responded originally because I disagreed with the framing in the article—that Allen was effectively the architect of all the pain experienced at IHOP. I don’t see that supported by the facts. If we say his leadership created a space where harm could happen, I think that’s fair. But to pin every individual trauma, including Bex’s, on him as though he were a direct perpetrator removes individual agency, blurs lines of responsibility, and in the end, may not help anyone actually heal.
So when we talk about what should be done, I think we need to be specific. What does repair actually mean in this case? Should Allen pay for Bex’s counseling? Should he refund her tuition? Maybe that’s something to consider—but even then, there has to be a limit to what we can reasonably expect from someone who did not abuse, did not know about the abuse, and has publicly acknowledged his leadership failures.
Bex had agency. That’s not blaming her—that’s just recognizing the dignity and responsibility of choice. Even if she was misled or harmed in the culture IHOP fostered, how she frames her story now will shape how she walks into the future. That’s not to silence her pain—but to say healing and blame are two different paths. And healing doesn’t always require someone else paying a price; sometimes it comes when we choose to stop carrying a weight, even if we were justified in feeling it.
This is bigger than Allen or IHOP. It’s about how we as Christians and as people think about justice, responsibility, and healing. My hope is that the conversation can move in a direction that truly helps people heal—and that includes being honest about what someone did or didn’t do, and how we walk forward from there.
When I say "seasoned and mature," I mean you and some others.
Thanks, Debra. I remember where you used to sit in the prayer room and drew encouragement from your love and discipline to worship. Bought a copy of your book (at least the one you had written in the 2000s - 2010s). But, to respond ... Many of us were so stiff-armed outside of any circles-- let alone the inner circle--that we weren't able to see these things. If ever rejection turned out to be protection, this would be it. Unfortunately, that rejection of mature and seasoned saints meant suffering for some like this woman. Were our prayers enough?